It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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