That's when you crack a 10am beer
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
