pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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