How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
