very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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