you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
