I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
