Acid is not a monday night drug
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize