everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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