If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
