Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
