I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
