Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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