I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
