My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
