What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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