Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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