his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
