Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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