Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
