I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
