i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
