your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
