I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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