We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Porn is love you can see.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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