I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize