But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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