I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
