I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
