i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
