I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
