so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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