shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.