Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night

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  (248): I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night http://tfl.nu/pm2y
  Replies (5) Good night (1120) Bad night (557)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote

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  (812): At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote http://tfl.nu/x0fb
  Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (2662)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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  (412): How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body? (1-412): Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit http://tfl.nu/2oue
  Replies (51) Good night (2294) Bad night (13838)
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  (858): View more from California

  I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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  (858): I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street. http://tfl.nu/fk7f
  Replies (35) Good night (8513) Bad night (733)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?

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  (403): What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex? http://tfl.nu/y75a
  Replies (15) Good night (886) Bad night (4431)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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  (740): Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night http://tfl.nu/r09y
  Replies (9) Good night (4941) Bad night (1257)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.

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  (603): Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever. http://tfl.nu/1r4h
  Replies (21) Good night (4832) Bad night (1008)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.

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  (813): Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator. http://tfl.nu/65uw
  Replies (15) Good night (1389) Bad night (4431)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock

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  (518): i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock http://tfl.nu/9mlf
  Replies (9) Good night (6506) Bad night (960)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that

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  (505): Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that http://tfl.nu/xqbd
  Replies (15) Good night (1362) Bad night (2549)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.

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  (917): The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join. http://tfl.nu/f8od
  Replies (12) Good night (908) Bad night (1767)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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  (602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8
  Replies (5) Good night (1880) Bad night (552)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.

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  (303): The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate. http://tfl.nu/zqvn
  Replies (2) Good night (1761) Bad night (428)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.

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  (702): Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet. http://tfl.nu/3amu
  Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (611)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn

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  (201): so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn http://tfl.nu/00rd
  Replies (4) Good night (176) Bad night (425)

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