Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona

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  (310): first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona http://tfl.nu/f4h4
  Replies (16) Good night (897) Bad night (2180)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  38 yer olds are good kisserssss

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  (713): 38 yer olds are good kisserssss http://tfl.nu/i4pg
  Replies (55) Good night (1643) Bad night (2688)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.

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  (678): The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic. http://tfl.nu/0ai8
  Replies (56) Good night (10274) Bad night (1470)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face

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  (561): I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face http://tfl.nu/knsv
  Replies (25) Good night (3605) Bad night (1908)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin

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  (312): The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin http://tfl.nu/3kj0
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (2755)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay

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  (412): You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay http://tfl.nu/y710
  Replies (15) Good night (4201) Bad night (1989)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.

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  (540): Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good. http://tfl.nu/d8mv
  Replies (5) Good night (2013) Bad night (854)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better

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  (405): As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better http://tfl.nu/3xhu
  Replies (6) Good night (650) Bad night (1274)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Eh. They balance each other out

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  (716): I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day (1-716): Eh. They balance each other out http://tfl.nu/9dcn
  Replies (6) Good night (1055) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast

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  (940): I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast http://tfl.nu/pow4
  Replies (4) Good night (1343) Bad night (511)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr

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  (620): nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr http://tfl.nu/wyqo
  Replies (9) Good night (1515) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Moonshine marathon is never a good idea

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  (757): Moonshine marathon is never a good idea http://tfl.nu/1b2l
  Replies (6) Good night (550) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth

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  (301): I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth http://tfl.nu/jeme
  Replies (7) Good night (682) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards

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  (612): Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards http://tfl.nu/mq0j
  Replies (5) Good night (592) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.

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  (630): His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up. http://tfl.nu/1y0y
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (392)

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