Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

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(207): View more from Maine

If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.

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(214): View more from Texas

I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack

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(509): View more from Washington

all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?

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