dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.