Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
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