In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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