she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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