First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
