I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
