For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?