And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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