Non-Jews are for practice
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress