the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.