Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart