now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
