I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
