You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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