So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A+ Viking dick
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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