dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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