Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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