Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
