my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
