one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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