He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Randomize
