About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
