Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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