I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
