Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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