Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
