therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
