Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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