Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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