You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
