There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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