Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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