I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
