THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She just used a chaser for red wine.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
