Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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