She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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