So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
