He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
